Monday, December 19, 2016

A Domestic Tiger


Kay Hassan 

My dear friend,
Haven’t we met ,
 somewhere or,
 Seen each other , 
Several million year past
Around the banks of the old rivers
Or, in our warm caves
with our phosphorous eyes ,
In the darkness,                                                                                                                                           Devilled by our
claws, and desires,
In seeking the taste
of the divine ingredient
 in each other's diamond  structure ,  
Thus  painfully our departed souls
 were  never blessed on the terrains  ,
Despite my - monumentally prophetic gift
In the long journey of brotherhood.

Friday, June 17, 2016

The Chemistry Of New York


Kay Hassan


"Etwa Rihanna Hagen Taylor."
" Yes, sir."
" One Mississippi ...Tow Mississippi ...Three Mississippi..."
"Stop rhyming,.. stop timing."
"Yes, sir."
Bang, Bang...Boom, they killed the Governor .
"I SAID,YES, SIR."
" WHAT?”
“My journey is too long, Father .”
“It is closer than you expect.”
“My destiny is cloudy, sir.”
"One Mississippi ...Tow Mississippi ...Three Mississippi..."
Stop rhyming,.. stop timing."

***
In valuing myself, as a younger lad I say. “I was evil, wicked , and somehow sinister.” I am a New Yorker and Rihanna is my father; and. (Blah blah blah.) Such as being a unique - dangerous charming boy, or a descendent- of numerous races . Rihanna Taylor himself was the descendent of an Anglo-Saxon adventurer  and an African woman , and, my mother - Azariah Gordon Ramos -a Latin American African descendant was a mixture of a thousand races . It looks, I was a global entity before even others thought of a universal man. I don’t know what sort of things  might happen tomorrow, but I am not the last man here - I believe, somehow, what happened  to the others might happen to me, and my father  too. He said. " Stupid." My father said. " You are a stupid lad." And I said. "A stupid lad  may do good someday- I miss Azaria."

Azariah sung in the church when I was a very young lad: I remember her song quite clearly - clear enough to make me shiver and crash into little fragments of myself. Azariah, however, had left my father after she gave birth to my little sister Melrose. Since then, for no particular reason she addicted to crack-for a long time - specifically for more than a decade.

Lately, Azariah has died lonely on one of the most crowded streets of New York-without having met us again even by chance. And when we were told about the details of her death ,I could not even believe that something like that might happen to adults. In fact I behaved like an ideal moron, while
hopelessly my clan fought each other for a long while, prior to honour her with a proper burial and ceremony that becoming a mother of two; Melrose and myself.
“I miss her so much, New Yorkers,  and I am certain everyone understands me, because we have the  hearts, and mothers and bloods and eyes and  tools like things for filling . I miss her indeed." I kept having the same feeling, for a long time and never have stopped loving her. "I miss her indeed,” I told my father in the funeral. " ’Understand your feeling, son," he said passionately, and dragged me to cry on his chest.

And then her portrait became an alive figure in our house . I remembered few things she did, but Melrose could not remember her at all. She forced me to trip into my memory’s lanes , and I obeyed her with pleasure, but when she felt I had faked many stories she flew into a rage and started swearing at me...and in turn Father grounded her, and told me harshly. "I was a looser...don't repeat me-life." And since then, I kept turning in my mind why a man like him makes a fool of himself.           He was good!

The last time I heard Mother's voice was when she sung a very old style song at a Sunday Mass, in our church, I remember how piously everyone listened to her. It was exactly after Melrose‘s third birthday.( Melrose is now seventeen years old.) My father was there too. He did not say anything, but I remember his tears. Actually I have never seen so much tears in human being's eyes, New Yorkers -
She sung a brilliant song, though I did not know what she meant, but I did agree with myself that songs had to have some meaningful words- songs teach you how to talk to God, it look like  prayers.

 She sung, and I thought, probably, to let everyone cry for her races- around the world; they were growing- far from everyone’s eyes
"Let him kiss me with kisses of his mouth;
Oh daughters of Jerusalem
Thy love is better than wine.
I am black and beautiful,
Oh, daughters of Jerusalem ,
I am black as the tents of Kedar
I am black as the curtains of Solomon -- "
However, after many years, I knew where from she had borrowed her lyric.
                                       
                                                            ***
Rihanna Taylor was sad, for someone had recently gone out of his life. He was on his seat , and on either sides Melrose and myself had embraced him, under the cool shade of our balcony. We gazed together at the bright sun of April, for a long time . Rihanna Taylor sighed and murmured some ethnic words- belonged to his mother . Oh, he was so white and so angry at the world, for being engaged once with the life so heavily, and so bravely and had walked with his wife like a real man, until she left him for no reason- I was certain there is no enough reasons compared to the huge numbers of the incidents in this world. He said. "Only her songs tell the truth."

At the end he did fall himself on my body , murmuring to me. “ I am just a lonely dog.” I thought with myself, I am not supposed to repeat what he had just said." Oh, girls of my tribe, " said he and shed more tears. " Don't trouble yourself, sir," said I. " I am churning as an ocean in the storm, son," said he." Right," said I. However cynically, had intention to say." You too, yourself  were a Tornado, sir."But I did not.I  did not say anything. " You' re supposed to say something in such occasions , son,you have to learn courtesy, " said he." I lost the light of my life." “Right," I said again , like a typical moron. He was so angry, that I had to get rid of my confusion, and stop asking myself. "How such a black lady gave birth to this white creature?" His mother-had just died.

He wept and steadily mourned Azariah, though I believed he was now partially whining for his mother. Then, and aftermath he wrote some beautiful prose -in her everlasting beloved memory. Certainly, he mourned his wife more than he did for his mother. And I thought, he did not write a single word for his mother. (But he denied my claim. later.)
"Well, dearest- though you left me too early, I kept asking myself: What am I without you now? Doubtless, nothing. Then, let me , through you, talk to the New Yorkers- all over the place and to upper west side, and to Manhattan and the depth of Harlem . We are so mixed and so blended and so blessed, even God has been dazzled by our features on the streets. Henceforth I say. ‘Please, my friends, do not write ideology , do not make Bibles again, do not manipulate genealogy and hoax. Sing, just sing, even if they were lowering your coffin down -deep in your grave .’”

He ,however, looked at me- upon the growing confusion in my gaze- screamed.” What?" Probably he thought I was an ungrateful boy, and making a fool out of him." I won't bother you, anymore, sir, But you too,better to readdress your opinions," said I.
"I am an unchangeable  kind of a prophetic beast , son. A prophet, like everyone- in past ,” said he, And while I was avoiding his eyes, he murmured. "I was just a hoax, shunning the fashionable men and women , was not I?" I could feel him vehemently how he was regretting himself for his arrogance and bad temper ,which never gave him opportunity to apologise for his mistakes. .

Rihanna Taylor told me how he had lost his leg in Amazon rain-forest when he was young. I heard the story in a thousand versions. Oh, good God ,I thought, he was lying. But being a missionary man, in Brazil's Amazon rain-forest, was a real story, indeed. The man was a creative speaker, managed most often to say painfully .”No one would accept to marry Rihanna Hagen Taylor a one legged man, except Azariah.” At my age, I used to attribute things of the sort to the compatibility or personal souls’ chemistry. But he bellowed savagely. “NO, no, no- it is something out of control- something divine. Don't take me wrong, son.I mean don't be harsh on me when I die-I was not do things alone ... all those nonsense is related to the family's history .”

My family’s history-(Males' in particular.)  was somehow stories of infamous charlatans. They were  legends of war-but were rotting away- in the time of peace . Hagen Taylor was one of the most remarkable mercenary in Africa. He had kidnapped a beautiful woman from Africa, in fifties of the last centuries . Her name was Masani Okeke. "Masani was a close relative to the president Idi Amein," said Rihanna. He meant the dictator of Uganda.

Masani , anyway, died yesterday in sorrow. Though had been in her waking, Rihanna could not stop talking on Azariah. Masani was my real grandmother, however, my thousand cousins were
from other three women whom my grandfather had married and killed one after another, till the middle of the last century before he met Masani Okeke who conceived immediately after their first dating- in the jangle .

Masani had chosen a name for me, and when the time came, she begged Azariah. “Please name him, Etwa. If I married Idi he would name my first born Etwa.” Azaria could not refuse her request, though she thought Etwa is only good for a nick name. Thus they called me Etwa, or only Et. When Masani Okeke died, yesterday, I was taking my Ex with her husband to- Slut walk- in Washington D.C. I wished I could have taken Azariah with me-once- to such a great event.

 When I revealed what was going on in my head , Rihanna snapped. " Goddamn, you are a typical bastard- Azariah was never a slut-she has never been  rapped ." I was shocked- trying to find my best words for apology ." I know she was not ... but I felt she was in want to walk with pride with those incredible ladies," I said. “Oh, ye ...you right," said he cynically ." A woman like her never loses pride, bastard."

My name, however, was somehow a big curse. Everyone thought I was a bastard, because only bastards are allowed to have such names. Et; it is not even a cognate with ET, I thought. Honestly, I looked like a bastard indeed, particularly when I was very young. Ironically, then, I told everyone. "I am not a bastard." Some people may have been convinced. Anyway, however I say. “Those years had passed quickly, but left a long obscure trails  in my minds, like the worst movies.”

My father was still writing on papers. I was growing well. I told him, cynically.“ Use something modern, man. ”He became angry, and screamed at me. "What is wrong with papers, bastard...wasn't bible itself written on papers?" I did not reply, instead I brought him a brand new Dell Laptop that met all his needs and that can be customized with the latest technology for all his brilliant performances, in future.

 He did not use it until he convinced his friends to purchase computers, for their virtual adventures, and consequently they stopped traveling long distances to meet each other.
Rihanna then looked obsessed with the screen. Actually he changed his glasses, and started his new journey. And for my surprise, after three months,Rihanna  was able to write on face-book. He wrote to his friends. “Write the recipe of this breakfast, then run until the sun set. The night will be coming soon.”...I watched him stealthily. He received their compliments, joyously. “I want you to be featured in the food magazine," he read aloud.
"Brilliant."
"What is brilliant? “I yelled.
"Hanging out with old friends on line."
"kick my sweet ass."
"Not yet...you are still alive."
"Oh, am I in there?."
"Who said that?"
They were crazy ,however, I left him on his own.
The worst, he started, sending his recipes to his friends, and strangers , and signing his name on the recipe Rihanna Taylor, and kept pushing himself through illegal paths, until someday he received a letter from police to attend the  station which took him a whole day to reach there-and disengage  . He became angry, and again called me bastard. But, I noticed he was still happy with his computer.“ Learn your first lesson , man.” I told him.
"Okay, here's Hemingway," said he.
" What?" gasped I.
"My father."
"Your father?"
"He wrote; I can live only like an eagle."
"Come on, Rihanna... face the truth. He only hunted your mother."
"You never understand him- I have to write the story of his life- he was a legend.."
When I had not had my comment, he bellowed furiously.
“What are you doing with your life? Seriously, tell me, bastard.".
" I am a man of banks...I deal with everyone's money."
"What do you mean, bastard? I mean yourself's …girls', bitches'. "
"It is everyone's anatomy. I gotta go. Something just came up."
“Who told you?“
“I don’t know. I receive signals.”
“Terrific. So you have no life.”
“I do, I swear to God I do.”
“Even Sue did not teach you,” said he cynically. Sue was my ex-wife.

We lived in Brooklyn, and all those memories were alive in my veins.… I used to walk all the way to Harlem, where my real roots lay, to play with my closest peers.... Doubtless, I respected everything in Brooklyn, particularly its official motto." Eendracht maakt macht..." Probably, for being somehow a home of tolerance for bastards whose skins were set ablaze- in a furnace like environment , like mine, which made such a blend of out of black, white, clay, golden men, priests, Aristocrats, homeless, bitches, nameless men and women - yearning still, for the feast of the lady.
"When we settled down there, I knew in the first day, how to shuttle back and forth between the two places. “Forty minutes.” I told my cousins.
“Fuck,” they said.
“What?” I said.
"We can make it faster for you," they said cynically..
"How?" I yelled.
"You will see bastard.?” They said.
Though were berated by my father, I was hospitalized several times for injuries caused as a consequence o  their hazing. However I had to put up with them- we were cousins and I was just a puppy if was compared to them.
……………………………….................................***
Bastard!
They said. “Bastard.”
“I am not looking like a bastard,” I swore to God.
"I am then an aimless species, for not having pursued perfection like the metropolitan bastards, " I murmured for a thousand times to clean up my head for the new logic; then I thought ,it did not really matter to be a bastard with some benefits.

 However, my face was so different that even the pious-members of-my clan had a million reasons to diagnose the traces of a hundred races in my skin , throughout our long journey in the city of New York." I didn't really know, if I were allowed to think that way,"I said to my cousin Alan.
"What do mean? You're an important man now, who cares about past?." Said he.
"I have to finish this. Up. Anyway let’s think differently."
"Finish what?"
"I have to marry someday,” said I
"You did...but it did not work ."
"Say it. Alan. He is an old chap, now. He won't cry," said my cousin Sherri.
"You were the naughtiest woman of the clan, Sherri ," said Alan.
"You, mean -three time's the charm," shouted she.
"Good one."
"It is mean."
"What does Rihanna call you?" said she.
"Bastard," said I." He calls me bastard."...
"Genius...I thought Etwa- Et, was a swear word," said she.
“Right,” yelled I.
"Jackass.. like jackass,” said she.
"Cheers."
We were drunk. No more exposed to their hassle, actually I thought, I was brought up better than they were, and blah blah blah.

I was somehow, anyway -in shock, not the way you think of, but for having been crushed under all those eyes. Remembered how was fucked up for having been voluntarily chipped up in a special program - was funded by my employer for a dubious purpose. I was not in a position to understand the purpose but was awarded with a longest journey to Alaska. “It looks like tattoos,” said the surgeon who had planted the chip in my arm." I see," I murmured and walked to my office in the bank; my second home.

 I was so obsessed that I did know how to live without my chip- ever since .I was certain some clients would be now waiting for me, with a thousand proposals, and the best case scenario was to dismiss them immediately. I heard the first artificial voice, echoed in my head. “That is the sign of strength.”
Nevertheless, among-st my tribe, during the last wars, as a family tradition, nearly a dozen of my cousins were Marines, fighting in the worse places around the world , including two females.

 We bid them farewell one after another to unknown destinies .However, they had to welcome my father's bitter comments, on-line- these days. " Remember, you fight for everyone in this country, but you die only for yourself; like my dog - they put him down that way ."
 " Right." they would said in a solemn reply . "You are right, sir. We miss your dog." Lest Rihanna make his mind and transfer the only significant family's property to Melrose and me, because my grandfather wrote the property in Rihanna's name.

Actually, the charm of the property was kind of a magical tie which kept our clan so united.
It was not fair to tell my folk everything about myself, such as. "I am chipped!"
"Hey, you wanna get that? Open up," they said.
I told Liz and Brad, my elder cousins, when they came back for their holiday in December. But they could not believe me. Even Liz yelled-." It is one of your stupid jokes, isn't it ?"...
" No. I am serious."
" Tell the truth, man."
" ‘Am not supposed to tell you- But I am telling the truth.".
"I believe you are lying Et ," Bradley said.
"Talk about yourselves how do things work there?" said I.
" Look every thing there is wrapped with dust and blood. What do need to know?"." Liz said.
" Fair enough," I said.
" So... let’s drink, guys." Bradley said.
I felt I was a dysfunctional secret keeper.

We had to celebrate the occasion rather than engaging with side issues . Actually I obeyed Bradley- meekly- but had to apologize for the boring moments." Right. I am sorry, guys." I bellowed.
" Take it easy, Et. We know you are a bad host, " Liz said.
" Talk about yourself," she added.
" Well, I told you, I have been chipped, would you care?"
“Thank God,” I turned over in my head. “They won’t care.”
" Shut up please." Liz said. " Talk about your Ex."
" Was she a lesbian?" said she.
" No, she was not, who told you?"
"Everyone knows the story," said she.
" So you just telling me; you know nothing," said I confidently.
" ET, " Bradley screamed.
“What?”
" I am chipped! It is better to say I am fucked up, though prefer to say - good job,” "Bradley said. "
" Come on, baby- don’t lay my shit bare."
"You want me to say. 'Turn around and let me see you.'"
"Right." I said, and laughed loudly. I realized now how heavily we were drunk- and said. “Better to confess ‘we are screwed up.’” And told them how the bank's program had started.
"It was, and is optional. I participated in the program, voluntarily. "
"Easy done," said she.
“You will have the upper hand- someday.”
"It is Exceptional!"
"And backed by the authority to support the bank of Information," said I.

I was obsessed with the idea. In fact my enthusiasm for the program’s conduct helped me to be promoted several times just during the last year.
" My name is Sam, I'll be serving you tonight, sir,” said the new waitress.
"Thanks, Sam. Where is Nick?"
"He has just left," said Sam.
"Wanna repeat all what we've done, Sam, sweetie...can we?" said Bradely.
"Sure, sir." said Sam and left briskly.
"Hm. Well Et, are you gonna talk about it?" Bradley asked me. He meant the loose ties between our clan’s members which in fact started lately dying out. "Since when I talk about such issues ?" said I. "We know, it was always our faults," said Liz. “I won’t need to try my best to prove my point of view. You all had dealt with me harshly,” I said. “ We agree,” said she. I could not say anymore, but prepared to elaborate the language of my excuses, such as. "Lately. I haven't been feeling a proper connection with anyone." And kept up diplomatically dragging them to where they could not hide their feeling of guilt, any more "Anyway. We're gonna spend sometimes together," said she, "Doubtless- that is a very nice gesture from you- " said I. "Well!... agree!" said she with a sweat smile. “By the way, we barely know Melrose,” said she. “You know what I mean.” “Right. I’ll take care of that- seriously .”
***
“To My father,” I murmured in front of his house. “Dispute everything I won’t allow the disagreements between us leads to serious disputes.” I visited him most often. Melrose was still living with him, in the house...she studied, and worked very hard. She was in hurry, now.
"I won't be late, stay, please.. It is just four hours," said she.
"Oh, dear...I wish I could," said I.
"Well, bye," said she.
"I feel like myself...when I see you both together," said she.
"Oh sweetie.”
“Love you," said I.
"Love you too. See you soon,” said she and left.
"Let’s have a gulp...I am absolutely lost. I don't know what to do," said Rihanna.
“With pleasure. Champagne?.”
“Yes, please,” said he.
I brought two glasses, and his favourite drink.
"God I miss them," said he.
"Fuck...what happened to you, murderer? “said I cynically.
"Nothing ...nothing ."
We drunk together, on the front porch of his house, sometimes at late nights
"Another indiscretion?" I said.
"Boy!"
"I am serious."
"No, I miss them...I miss the city too."
"Well, take yourself into the heart of the city."
He was offended...he grunted. "It is none of your business."
"Right."
"Good," said he sternly. "Take care of your concern."...
"I do.”
“You do!”
“Yes. for example; I am chipped, and I take care of the chip," said I.
"What? What is that."
"I am chipped-" I said and told him what it mean.
It was a great challenge. Rihanna was so furious that I felt only plucking my eyes would extinguish his fire. He screamed. “ You are a real bastard, son of a bitch. I think, they fucked you up in a very modern way.” We laughed. Rihanna was always ready to throw his tantrum sardonically including his bitter comments. I envied him for having such a readymade reflex mechanism.
"Who cares?" I said.
" I care...you care," said he.
"Forget it...forget it. Listen, I have some better news."
"I am listening."
"You are now talking to the bank's CFO.”
"Am I? Fuck...speak. I am proud."
“Proud is not good enough - hug me at least,” I said. He did and reduced to tears.
****
Recently was promoted to Chief Financial Officer, CFO. It was a great opportunity for anyone. My class mate were still struggling and serving customers huddling at their doors’ thresholds or suffering the headache of the credit risks. I thought they envied me, particularly, for having backed by the bank president-(The famous figure in the finance world- known for having risked his life career to raise the fiscal cliff for the . (sceptic-) presidents .) who had never refused my proposals, and stood by me in several crisis my staff played the major role to happen.
I started opposing myself in dealing with many issues, focusing mostly on my friends Gladys Harrison, the check processing manager , and Lisa Chin the electronic banking specialist , and Richard Owen the Check processing Manager, my best friends of all time. They did not know how strong my ambition was, to climb Wall Street. Actually they had never known how I may destroy them, if have not migrated to the financial district of New York .
I knew in advance, it was impossible to climb the wall at no cost. However, today, I watched the Wall Street Crash, and failing of seven hundred banks. Seventy hundred false transactions have successfully conducted between 4.5 Pm to 5.Pm. A secret report was issued at midnight. It listed the path of the signals, but with no records of any kind, such as details and destination of the transaction, actually there was no real details on the monitoring screens. The report ensured the receivers were mobile entities, and the transmitter had sent one hundred pulses, at different places, from Washington D.C. only.
When Mr Callahan, the bank president asked me- I did not know why a man like him asks me such a crucial question . “Are we involved as criminals or as victims.” Unconsciously, screamed. “ We are criminals … we are criminals, sir.” He looked frustrated, wondering about my attitude for a while. (It looked later - my attitude was the only thing that mattered for him.).
Actually when Mr Callahan thought carefully, did not mind to hail, and declare something I never dared to think of. "Et is genius- victims in some situations are just losers." Then he relaxed back on his chair, taking a long breath, wondering, if he had to proceed or not.” Are we?” He said. And I started attacking his assistants savagely for such a delay in their response . “I won’t mind to replace them, if you are ready.” Said he. I did not say anything. "Hey, this war never ends... it'd better have a recess," said he. “At least, we succeeded.” Succeeded was not a right word though, I offered my vote. “ "Certainly," said I to please him. It was a nice truce. Actually we started talking on three beautiful girls were recruited recently. "You think of them all, don't you? " said he. “I understand -the libertine’s everlasting feeling, sir, ” said I.
“Man! Look at my frame - my age,” snapped he.
"Oh. Sorry, you are a married bloke- too," said I.
"Do you take advantage of that?"
"No. No. You are old."
"Fuck. I am not- Defame me not"
"You think too much, don't you? I may travel into your head. "
"Oh, yes I do. I think you owe me an apology.”
"No, I don't?"
“Yes you do.”
“ I might think about all what I have said lately,” said he. “ It’d better hurry up, ” I said cynically.
Actually, I was rude and arrogant, for having denied his right to fathom my feeling .Instead , I excused myself awkwardly and walked to my office, and started restlessly wondering if some ultimate geek logs into me through the chip and control my limps to create a stream of transactions - by building virtual barriers to isolate my brain all the while. "Theoretically your concern is possible," said the head of the IT’s department in the bank. But, when I tried to put him in my a position to face those critical moments during the chaos, he denied my claim. “Practically- the transactions have nothing to do with chips. My department has not identified any threats .”
I was not satisfied at any rate. Actually, I rang Mr Callahan very soon. He was now on his way to the airport. "Holy Mother of God. I am fucked up. Do something," I yelled...I had to ask him to secure the channels at any cost. "Are you talking about the leakage?" said he. "Yes...we are exposed to a million hackers ," I said. “Is that what you came out with- after your meeting with the boys,” said he. “Yes- but I am not interested in their reluctance,” I said. He was not surprised, on contrary he was calm and pleased to talk to me again." Push your team into it...work harder and fight back, man,” said he. "They are documenting the accidents - on full swinging," I said.
"Oh, yeah...accidents' forecasting! Then accidents might happen,” I said. "Hey, listen, it is serious," I said. He was hesitant. "The crisis is bigger than your chip, man," said he. "My chip?" "Do not take it personally. Everyone is severely exposed to the public eyes," said he. " It is not just that." "What do mean?"
"Thoughts and emotions signals can be transmitted into the computer and there to anywhere through the internet,” I said anxiously.
" Et." said he ."Enlighten me? The world for me is just numbers."....
"Oh. money too,” I said.
“You never know, what kind of changes might happen soon.”
“Man, you solve nothing.” I said.
“Bullshit, we have not reached that level, Et .But we both are climbing.”
“What do you mean,” I said.
"I owe you apology ..."said Mr Callahan, unexpectedly .
"What did you say?"
"See you at Hot Bird soon," said he, and hung up.
“Bastard’s riding to the port,” I murmured to myself awkwardly- then sung. “Bastard’s riding to Hot Bird. ”Hot Bird was some older generations’ favourite place at Clinton Avenue. I had to accept the idea and fight back alone ; the bastard. ( Mr. Callahan.) had already walked away.
Far from the band, when the time came, he had all the prominent heads of the bank invited to the same bar. Then, somehow, I started thinking of the topics that might suit the big night: My involvement in the slut-walk? Choudry’s joke, or wall street crisis...the struggle over money-wondering if the Class Conflict is real or just a hoax. "Why Hot Bird?" we questioned each other in vain. But Mr Callahan's obsession with the place had its root, indeed .
It was a long-extinct chicken restaurant in the neighbourhood ,we knew about it very well. I thought with myself, probably he chose the place as a metaphor for the harms that crisis impact might bring upon our bank. (The place we loved so much.) However, under the weight of all chaotic thoughts after the close of the day, I walked to the harbour , and there I saw a man struggling vainly to hang himself. He called me, thrice .” O. brother could you please for God’s sake help me.” I had to help him, but I was angry at him for the way he chose to farewell New York... "SAD, I AM SAD." said he. “Fuck off, the harbour does not know what sadness is, man. Do not be pathetic, just go home and talk to your partner, or your mother," I screamed. The man looked at me, whispering in fear. " Do not tell police, bro." .... " I won't. I promise," said I and left him for the nervous waves. Fortunately there was no news of suicide-those days.
On my way, I kept murmuring like fools. "New York."...
"You are the Babylon‘s scripts,
Ctesiphon’s Orchestra,
Pharaohs’ graveyards.
Athens’s gods’ park ,
Rome’s gladiators‘ coliseum,
Alexandria's library,
Baghdad’s Zenith ...
You are neither the motherland of the last man, nor the clash of Huntington.
You are the bloods of the seven cities."
..............................................................***
Mr Callahan sat on the table. He had arrived earlier ... in fact he believed in the traditions and etiquette. My friends were among-st the guests; Gladys Harrison and her husband, Lisa Chin and Richard Owen. " Not a single word about the work, guys."Mr. Callahan said.
" Refreshments, or stimulation ?" said he.
"Both," we yelled.
" No politics no fiscal cliff, please... I prefer your slut-walk, Et." Mr. Callahan said.
I hesitated but was ready.
"I dare to say. 'Listen , guys.'" I said.
We had not been together outside the bank for a long time- eventually we could observe how much we have changed. WE HAD CHANGED THE SAME WAY THE CITY HAD. " Is it still changing with us ?" I whispered- I wished I could say that loudly "What is changing with us,” said Gladys. "The city," yelled I. "Take care." "The dinner is served." "Thanks." Blah, blah, blah. "Entree .....in French !hahaha. " "I am starving. Expecting a huge meal. " "We entered the twenty first century twice, first in 1991 and second in 2003,"my oriental friend said, weirdly. "It has been fucked up," said I."I mean the history."... "Right," said he.
"Then, lets confess like sluts do," said I.
"What do you mean? "Richard said.
"We are not certain about anything," said I.
"You are drunk, Et!" said my oriental friend.
"Not, yet."
My friend was a refugee. I had been advised to avoid him.
" We make our fates individually," Richard said.
" Oh, yeah... Illuminati ," I said.
" Illuminati?" Richard bellowed.
"Yes. It is a compliment."
" I agree, Richard." Gladys said.
" Why?"
"For having distanced yourself, lately," Gladys said, she looked desperate.
I thought Richard was avoiding her since recently.
"Definitely, you mean Et."
"Lets go back to your slut- walk, Et, " Callahan interrupted them..
"We don't do better than sluts," said I.
"Hey, you have not stranded on the roads- in vain," said Gladys.
"We are talking about ambition," said I.
"Ambition?" said Gladys and grinned broadly.
"No doubt ambition makes our fates," said Callahan.
" That is better." Richard said.
I could trace Richard's background, a bit; Irish, Dutch, and French...his parents were not rich. In fact he set his eyes on the fortune of Gladys' parents for a long while...but was now struggling to stay with her... I tried my best to keep them together, and somehow worked secretly against Lisa who loved Richard and hated Gladys. "I have to travel to the best place for watching the north light," said I.
"You have to stop obsessing about the world," said Gladys.
"I can't."
" Well Mr, Callahan please…send this devil to hell," said Lisa.
"I will.".... "At my address," said Gladys.
"No, at Wall Street's," bellowed Mr Callahan. "I am serious...it is not a joke, Wall Street is a natural Nest for this devil .He is on his way."
A murmur ran confusedly about the last cannibal tribe of the street. "I am serious indeed," said Mr Callahan sternly. Then we talked violently and they showed more concerns, and Blah... blah ...blah...
They were jealous. “I expected something better from my friends,” I said bitterly, and regretted them harshly. I was, in shock, listening to the rambles of mouths ."Wall street is not any bastard's home,” they said, and heavily agreed.
I was shocked, however, a moron like was awaken now as everyone screamed savagely ."WHAT?" Henceforth, they silenced themselves for a while apologetically. "The Big Board ...The Big Board," Callahan said twice .
"The big board?" someone said cynically.
"There , I release our shark." said Callahan.
Thus he talked for the last time as my boss in the bank.
I, kept questioning myself, why a man like Mr Callahan adapts me so kindly and then releases me as his shark in such a dangerous place. He would say "You have not discovered yourself yet." If I asked him. "That will be the worst for both of us," I murmured awkwardly, but could not stop myself throwing through the space- the lyric of my favourite song, for such a painful farewell. “Auld Lang Syne- as was nearing to Christmas.
.........................................................................***
The first lesson I learnt, in finance, in Wall Street was. "If this street collapsed the whole world would collapse.” I told my father. ”Unfortunately, those fucking wisdoms are prevailing,” said he.
(Mr Callahan, however, had said. “Don’t judge things outraging-ly.”)
" Bullshit." my father said.
" I am talking about Wall Street! "said I.
"Even though," said he..
"What?"
" Bullshit," said he.
I was certain , no one can stop such a stubborn head.
"I said , it is the wall street’s."....
"Just because, your boss kicked you out - into such a brothel ?"said he.
"Yes."
" Fuck," said he.
"I'm not ready to face all these yet."
"They have sold you."
" I am not that talented one, sir."
" I am certain .you are something "...
"See you later, sir," said I.
"You can't walk away just like that," said he.
"Yes, I can, When am humiliated, “ said I and left him alone.
Henceforth, the big board at 11 Wall Street Lower Manhattan-phone number +1 212-656-3000- became my new home. It was in my mind that Wall Street is running roughly from Broadway to South Street on the East River in the Lower Manhattan close to my ex's native-. Anyway, NYSE's - New York Stock Exchange - trading floor where I settled was composed of 21 rooms used for the facilitation of trading and traders operating on financial markets. The floor is also often called the front office as was traditionally a site of the open outcry. “Callahan in fact was my main source of information about the place.”
I was now a licensed stockbroker, had, by Mr Callahan's advice, passed the triple series... and was sitting in front of the famous Multi -monitors. My friends, and Rihanna discouraged me. They agreed, that I had sacrificed my prestigious job for nothing. I was apt to explode. But Mr Callahan never stopped pushing me . “Nothing in Wall Street was better than my previous position,” I told Mr Callahan before he disappeared. “Don’t judge a woman before you try each other in the bed.”
"I’m telling you that, this spot is going up!.., okay!" I told Rihanna.
"Who gives the shit, asshole?" said Rihanna.
"I do, man!"...
"I am not talking to you!."........
"Fine...go ask someone else."......
"Callahan? Fuck. He is just another motherfucker,” said he.
"You have to respect my friends, “ I yelled. "Bullshit. You have no friends,” said he. Rihanna was rude.
****
Mr Callahan had told me honestly, how tough is to be an active part of Wall Street. .
I remember this conversation.
" Never have helped you to become one of those greedy CEOs."....
"Yes, sir, I am way below those genius figures " said I.
"It is a long term training with devils . You understand what I mean, don’t you? "...
"Certainty. I do, sir," said I and thought of some renown figures there, however, his comment mostly was not beyond my personal sense. "We haven't planted you there for nothing."...
"Alas," I said and thought , none of his circle was a member of -Occupy the wall street.
"Hundreds of young Brokers work in the same circle. You will see and meet them one after another- you can find your way easily," said he.
"What do mean, sir?" said I listlessly. .
"Without using your ultimate brain ,you won’t be unique as much as you are here, midst all those devils," said he and left.
"You can’t walk away like that, sir," said I cynically ,but he did not respond.
We were so many- indeed. I thought of Mr Callahan- there. “Ay, he was right. I should not have expected too much from myself,” I said in judging my poor performance.
"What the fuck is he even doing here?" said Nichole who became my closest friend soon.
I was always good in eavesdropping.
" He looks like FBI's agent more than a stock- broker," said her companion.
"So what? Whoever , he is we will be tame him soon ."
“I mean-he is good- good looking.”
"Right...screw him for a while. There are others coming," said he.
"Really? I'll figure out what is going on."
"Why are you in hurry?"
"First of all, I want to know his name. This Goddamn one, in particular," said she.
"What? This Goddamn?" said he.
"You mind?"
"Not really. We will be introduced officially, however, his name is Etwa...he said. 'call me Et', " said her companion.
"Great, call him Etoo."
"Fuck... call him Et. "
.......................................................................****
"NYSE President will send his representative to welcome the new brokers and introduce them to the others officially. "That was what I had been told, however, I was not naive enough to believe my ear most often.
Mr Martin Smith was the NYSE president's representative. He was tall, blond, confident and purely authoritative ."First of all," said he. "There is no truth about a sale of the exchange - or closing down the trading floor."....
"Thank God," a murmur ran in the floor.
I was shocked- mourning myself. “You lost your job.” But was certain whoever touches that floor becomes a dear material in the employments’ eyes.
"Nevertheless, I am here farewelling three of our extraordinary -experts, and welcoming three ambitious young men you have already met. "
And Blah, blah , blah.
"Very well ... it is a great day and it is pleasure to introduce you to them: Mariana Callahan, Jack Belfort and Etawa Taylor,” said Martin Smith.
"Goodness -Callahan! “I gasped in shock.
“Is Mr Taylor Obama’s relative ."
“I think he is.”
“I am not certain, sir.”
“He is a moderate version of everything.”
I listened to their murmur running in the floor. Martin Smith had terribly- stirred the floor.
I was silent, however, he approached me and whispered." You will, very soon, love the smell of the plane."
Everyone laughed . He could not give up, talking about Fiscal Stringency- for a single moment. Consequently for the rest of the day we could not expect any rest in the floor.
The majority of the brokers were somehow at my age .One of them at least was called Mariana Callahan! I yelled. “Alas.” For not having seen her all those years- around Mr Callahan . I was now ready to venture… I have not learnt - yet- how to behave like a sane professional.
"Are you Mr Callahan's relative? I mean the greatest Banker in New Yorker!" said I.
"No shit!" said she.
“IT IS NOT EVEN WRONG,” she added.
"What?" I gasped in surprise, for not even being certain about the decency of my question. .
"Has he planted you here?" said she.
"I should have asked you the same question," said I.
"I am a smart girl. No one can trick me,” said she.
"Right,” said I, but was not rude enough to say. “I am smarter.”
"How was your journey with him?" said she.
"Fabulous."
"What about Belfort, I mean, Jack Belfort?" I asked.
" He is not a member of the clan," said she.
"What is his situation , exactly?"
" A friend."
"Fair enough."
"We break down his bank sooner or later."
"Callahan's bank! What do you mean, woman?"
" Woman? Haha..I knew you were his dog," she said.
"He is my friend ...my mentor, and I adore him, indeed."
"No shit," she muttered and left.
"I'm Mark, a senior broker here. Sorry I listened to your conversations," said Mark Ferguson whom I had already met.
"Nice to meet you, sir."
"I have been told to be around you."
"My pleasure, sir."
"What are you buying, a computer company or a high tech," said he in a joking mood.
"What do you expect, sir?"
"Something brilliant."
"I am not that good. It is too early "
"Then ,stay close and watch me how to hunt a big whale," said he. "Ready?"...
"Yes, sir."
"Do you know what money sounds like?" said he.
"I have no problem when it comes to money," said I."I got swift hands, sir."...
"Good boy... but, mind you where you are-standing now. I mean watch your steps,” said he.
"Good point, sir," said I.
"Let me, make it easier for him, Mark," said Nichole -
"Nichole Hosking, call me nick," said she.
Mark Ferguson did not mind to step aside.
"He's all yours, but I am staying close ," said Mark.
"Deal," said she.
"They need a guinea pig." Said she cynically .
I thought she was just an arrogant woman.
I could swallow my pride, and gather myself easily.
" What for?" I said.
"It is hard to explain."
“What for?” I said again.
"You need a thousand eyes and ears ."
"Wow!"
"Look, look. this stock is going up!"
"How do you know?"
"My gut tells me."
" That is what I am not good at."
" To be, or not to be, that is the Question," said she excitedly.
"I am serious. “I said and wondered why some ignorant brokers or CEO use this Shakespearian phrase.(He never refer to them.)
" Buy it ---Buy it."
" If I were you, I would."
"You are misleading him ," said Mark.
"No, I am not...it's a training session, he is free to decide. "
"So he buys nothing!"
"Absolutely."
"Mind you , I am your audition - supervisor- auditor ."
" Listen Et, when we take a company we set our price , then sell the shares to the fucking people."
"It is quite understandable."
"Watch the price...set the price...find the sellers and buyers. You are a match maker."
"Have you done it?"
"No I was a slut walker."
"Really? That is better."
"No I am joking."
"Still was brilliant."
"Follow the procedure and for the best case scenario create your version." ."
"I do- as long as it is legal."
"This is the point: You need a legal advice,"
"Instantly?"
"That is not your concern. They are standing on your head like the birds of prey. "
“How does it work?”
" The firm will provide you with all legal advice-instantly."
" That is part of the system, is not it?"
"Marvellous... you are close."
"What are you looking for, seriously?" said I.
"Diviners in disguise," said she.
"I see. I am one of them. I was always a diviner on the streets. There were no water and no oil, ”
“NOT- ST-EXIT- Then," yelled she. I could dream of such a smooth life though , I responded . “Never.”
***
When I opened a new stock for sale at seven dollars a share, sooner was over forty dollars Definitely I could not have done the task so swiftly without Nichole's help, but she told Mark- nastily . " I have never dealt with such a devil ."....Mark looked at me fiercely. “That is what I have been told. He does not need schooling,” said he sarcastically, and kept watching the brokers like a dear watch dog.
"Thank you for the harsh compliment," said I.
"You welcome," said she.
"I am serious- feeling better. "
"I am serious too."
" You have all rights to feel as far as you feed the business substantially."
"Really?"
"Really."
“Am I done for today?”
“Yes you are .”
Several days had passed , and I could not reach Mr Callahan. His sister's gossip, I thought, was a major threat on my career. My concern grew in particular when she said once. "My lips are still sealed."...consequently I wrote a message to Mr Callahan. " I won't let her destroy my career." He replied unexpectedly. "Don't let the conspiracy theory drown you any further. " I was stunned." Then show yourself, sir. You are not in there, for God's sake who is running the bank?" I wrote to hime. " Right, and good one, but what for we’ve chipped you?" "Am I still part of it?" said I.
"Yes you are and staying always."
" what for ?"
" You are being trained, for things you don’t know what they are."
"I am being trained here"
" Come on man, the plan is bigger than that."
"Where am I standing now ?"
"That is pathetic...you should not have asked such a question."
"I insist even if I lose my credit."
"You are safe and going to be rich and then you understand how it works."
"So there is no way to understand it now."
"Absolutely.”
“Absolutely?”
“ If you asked earlier you would not be there, man. "
"Quite understandable, sir."
"Thank you."
Assimilation, I thought, is another word for disappearing in Wall Street…disappearing and reappearing like a shark, or a wolf. "I have to work very hard."
"Nobody will check on your stocks, Et, Everyone thinks you are good....very -very good."
"I am doing well."
"Reading the Wall Street Journal ; it looks eagles are hovering around some banks- "
"Keep your bank far from their eyes, sir."
"Look. The bank is not my direct responsibility , anymore. Focus on the future, man. I’ll unleash the experts to hunt the companies with financial difficulties- and drive them - onto your desk,” said he.
"That will be appreciated,” I said though my head stuck his bank. " You don't need to say that."
"I miss those days we spent together with the boys. I am proud for having such experiences together.”
"Doubtless, someday we'll catch up, but with different places and new faces."
"Definitely we will," said I. Callahan stopped his message.
I could not stop thinking about his FEELINGS- ever since. …even I gave him a big blow- in my last message- based on his concern about the eminent fiscal cliff crisis. “Read, sir : THERE ARE THE WRITTINH ON THE WALL.”
****
"The old clients are done, Get ready to target the wealthiest kids in America," my boss said. “With all due respect, sir. Do you know one of them?” I stammered. “Absolutely, not,” said he. , and showed me some words that no one shall use inside the Wall, such as WHO , and WHERE. “You chase them, by your own- everywhere, and whoever they are!” Said he. “CHA…SE…chase them,” I bade myself, and showed my teeth.
“Then, what are you waiting for?” said he, and left the floor.
“I am chasing Kids, Nick,” I whispered in Nichole’s ear.
“ Trust your gut, and never reveal your plan,” said she.
“I am not telling anyone else!”
“You are on the floor. Look around, yourself.”
“I am following the events around the clock,” I said and felt my face blushing for having started metaphorically, ruining the world.
“There is something called sell off… be ready for it , and hit.”
“It is really busy --concentrate, concentrate..”
“The percentage of the day.”
“ Thirty per cent …something casting- slack.”
“Are you dizzy ?” said she.
“I have a strong head.”
“Seventy thousands.”
“What do you mean? Stubbornness ? It doesn’t help.”
“ I mean : No matter what... I am in my element.”
“Eighty thousand…sold.”
“Can you think that fast , and control your reaction, always.” I said.
“Yes, yes . my CV, includes two year experience as a prostitute worker, before I graduate .”
“ What do you mean?”
“I mean, I am smarter than normal people.”
“What?”
“I am smarter than any presidential candidates.”
“Fair enough.”
“Always and always ,remember, your bottom line. Get over the stress immediately,” said she.
“Day traders, fear the nasty days,”
“Are you trapped there?”
“Definitely ,yes. However, in the healthy market, you don’t need to fear, except yourself.”
“Give me a room to understand it.”
“Do it now. You don’t have the privilege of- thinking later.”
“Oh, right. Honestly, what is the spiritual joy in our deals?”
“No one will tell you the answer. The best trade anyway is the cleanest one.”
“So, we help God to redistribute the wealth.”
“EXACTLY. But, lower classes are exclude.”
“Don’t look at me…I am neither anarchist nor utopist. Just a new graduate compared to you.”
“No, seriously. I like this one.”
“Really?” said she and laughed a loud.
“Have you heard this nasty confession. ‘The deal shall be a great joy , especially in someone else’s failure ,” said I.
“Man ,it is compulsory to distinguish between the personal whim and Wall Street’s.”
“I am still alien here, ma’am - and can’t distinguish .”
“There is no room for feeling, anyway,” said she.
“But, instinct-ly , there is a little joy in the destruction of the others,” I said.
My father, I thought, has corrupted my head.
“Nick. Where were you here when Wall Street took the axe to its workforce?”
“Nah . I came here when the wall stopped to have lucratively paid traders ,” Said she.
“Sorry.”
“But was determined to stick to it, ” said she.
“To make a difference?”
“In my life-- not to make the world better.”
“I am not too naïve to think that way. I know why we are here.”
“Good.”
“Is this conversation . part of my training season, Nick?”
“Somehow, yes…but it is getting harder, for your final position, as one of those fucking managers .”
“Should I worry a lot?”
“ Nah. My advice, however, is , never think how the maximum psychological stress, might inflict a major damage on your brain,” said she.
“I can justify such a soft cruelty, ” I said.
“ No shit.”
“What?”
“Blow your head, but not in front of the staff…”
“I won’t.”
“Never ever.”
“I won’t. I won’t.”
“ I mean, if it is your dream job,”
“Look, I won’t confess.”
“Fair enough.”
“Besides, accidentally, I got a female enemy here,” I said.
“A female enemy?”
“Absolutely.”
“Am I allowed to ask?”
“I am not certain.”
“SELL WHATEVER-IS IN YOUR REACH.”
“Already did.”
“MERVELOUS.”
“Let me confess ,” I said.
“I am not forcing you.”
“How about Ms Callahan, ” I whispered.
“GODDAMN,” said she nervously. “What brought you so close to her?”
“My destiny ,” I gasped.
“Do you know what?” I said
“Not really.”
“She is my mentor’s sister.”
“Goddamn . Let’s go,” said she.
“I am anxious!” I murmured.
“Look, Et. Here, you have neither enemies nor friends, ” said she and ended the trading day..
***
“So,” my father said. “Metaphorically what is Wall Street.”
“I have no idea,” I said cynically.
“You are bragging to show me you are part of it, don’t you? Fuck. Let me speak up my mind, and tell you the truth. Based on my experience, it is just a little hatch opened into the capitalism heart,” said he angrily. “It is not the Soviet fucking era, man, to speak like that,” I said impolitely. “What do you mean?” said he.
“Fuck. We Play God. Nothing else,” I said.
“Good one. I like it,” said he.
“Stop being a word hunter, old man.”
“ Were not you trying to discharge your stress?”
“It is the biggest engagement.”
“Then, you must have your battle engagement rules.”
“What do mean?”
“Listen to your heart.”
“I do.’
“You do!”
“And I do have a heart.”
“Terrific.”
“And with each sales I hear a great crack.”
“I said, terrific.”
“And hear with each buy a horrific cry.”
“ Pray to God”
“I won’t,” I said.
“Why?”
"Why? Because -He- is not pray-able, there.”
“Then count, Edward Gibbon’s five marks of the Roman decaying culture.”
“We are not doing that bad.”
“ How is Callahan doing ?”
“ I don’t know. I can’t reach him.”
“Do you remember, what I told you about, being chipped.”
“Yes I do.”
“What does it mean in your magical destiny, I mean- Wall Street.”
“There is no difference between Wall Street, and other work places, Father.”
“No shit.”
“Listen - Callahan did chip you for no reason .”
“This conversation, takes us nowhere…Where is Mel?”
“She is out.”
“At this time?”
“YES.”
“That is inappropriate. You are not trying, old man.”
“I could not do any better , even in my best time. You know what I mean, don’t you? ”
“I was not a bad boy. Mr Taylor. ”
“She too is a good, girl.”
“I know.”
“ Well, son, that is enough for tonight. Have a good dream,” said he.
“Have a good night,” I said.
“Good night.”
***
Time passed by swiftly though, I learnt not to let anyone interfere with my decisions in the floor, or anywhere else. Moreover, voluntarily, around the clock Nicole was guarding me so faithfully that made me easily believing in my father’s wisdom. “You don’t have to worry as long as your guardian is a woman.” Though I used to yell. “I am not a toddler.”
However, in the coming months , I got skilled so sharply that my gut became a matter of concern for everyone in the floor, and behind the scene. Even Nickola was frustrated from the number of deals I made in a day. “That is not a normal skill, ”said she.
“ God forbid,” said I cynically.
“I am serious… slow down a bit,” said she.
“SLOW DOWN!” I snapped.
“You make enemies here,” said she.
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“Nothing…” said she hesitantly.
“I have to know,” I said harshly.
“Would you listen?”
“YES…YES.”
“If you think you are a new breed,” said she and halted.
“And.” I yelled.
“And try to make your own firm, during this time frame, you are just out of context..”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” I said
“I am warning you , friendly ; don’t cross the line,” said she
“Nick!”
“You have specifically and exclusively targeted clients never were on our record, the question is how did you reach them, ” Nicole said.
“No one set me up .”
“Et, listen...we have not reached that point, yet.” Said she.
“Then get into it, quickly.”
“ If it is your greed, the managers might accept it, otherwise God bless you,” said she.
“Absolutely, insane.”
“Explain, yourself.”
“Well. Who does buy stock, if you let those giant clients slipping away, between your fingers. ”
“No one buys stock unless he thinks it’s going up immediately.”
“Exactly.”
“ Won’t you need to convince them.”
“It depends.”
“It depends! You never convinced anyone, but , miraculously they come back to you.”
“I call them back.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Probably , they like my deal: It is sort of breakthrough, I created it.”
“It is not my job to evaluate this conversation but is my job to report it- whatever you create here is your employer’s property .”
“Fair enough.”
“Something’s going wrong.” said she.
“Show me a sign.”
“There are invisible intruders coming and going out through you.”
“WHAT A FUCKING ASSUMPTION IS THAT?”I said
“Calm down…calm down, it is the Street’s theory…call it an -assumption. The experts are not insane.”
“What kind of assumption are you talking about ?”
“You are a tunnel…you are a tunnel.”
“I am a tunnel!”
“They worked it out by NASA’s help.” Whispered she.
“You believe in such insanity, don’t you?”
“ I told you it is a theory.”
“How does it work.”
“You intercept the signals and entrap it.”
“Leave me alone, please,” said I..
“Fine…by the way, you don’t pay visits to your friends, do you?”
“Not, ready.”
“Look… Listen.”
“You need a space, don’t you?, ” said she and left, before I said. “Definitively I do.”
***
On the floor again. Alone, after she left- I thought of the Wall Street Rules steadily, based on the fact that no one knows if the Stock is going up or going down, until was suddenly blown away by my confession . “But I know…I know,” I mumbled to myself, and grinned at the confused faces- which were now increasingly gapping upon the rising and falling of the prices, until at the end, desperately they fixed their eyes on the highest and lowest prices at which the stocks have traded over the previous 52 weeks.
“Do it.” I thought, but- did not do it- according to Nicole’s warning. Actually I stopped making comments on the bumping stream of money , and slowed down my activity for a long while- thinking- (Better to say .’I am burning my brain.’)- how -to find- practically- a footstep on a solid foundation and create random names for my firm such as Double Arbitrage Touches, in trying to messing up with NASA’s heads, though I doubted Nicole’s confession, particularly if she was working in collusion with her managers- or not. “There are many tasks-need prompt actions, Mr Taylor. You know the limits, don’t you,” Mark Ferguson surprised me.
I was startled, but his presence around me was a great relief. He shot me a glance, and waited for my answer. “They were manageable activities, but are now out of control,” said he.
I was not ready yet, for having confused with his comments . “WE- are wondering what- They- might be.” I decided - he is mean too. “Things can be fixed up,” said he desperately, however, it looked he was setting me up -as a brilliant surge flashed into my mind
“No, it is other way around,” said I.
“Get me out of here with the minimum losses,” said he.
“ Fine, bring Nicole back, now. She can help,” I yelled.
“Don’t humiliate yourself.”
“….”
“I can’t… it is better to wait.”
“Seriously!”
“Seriously.”
“Oh, yea- seriously.”
“What do you mean?”
“ She sobs daily- in the ladies’ rest room.”
“ Fuck. What for? How do know ”
“Ask yourself- what for we got secret eyes.”
“What for?.”
“Is there any sort of emotion in this area? Seriously- you are free though . ”
“ Mr Ferguson!”,
“ The answer is followed by a genuine advice. ” said he, and left.
I had to consult Nicole in private. “Deals, fuck… I’ll spend the whole day on it,” I said and excused myself, looking for Nicole and walked through the crowd, and then headed to the elevator, and when I couldn’t find her- knocked the ladies rest room. “Nick,” I said and entered without hesitation, though was sure, of what might be accused of. In response, Nicole screamed barbarically “What are you doing here? I am not that kind of woman.” Though she couldn’t hold up- I bellowed. “Fuck , listen. Nick. I need you…it is urgent , meet me in the floor,” I said, sounding like I was begging her. She followed me, grudgingly. “It is still your duty to help me,” I said. “Your training session had come to the end.” “Even though,” I yelled.
“I told you: slow down,” yelled she. We were on our way to the floor.
“Right. But, Ferguson is in trouble. He needs me execute these three tasks,” I said and showed him the tasks. “ Let me check- if they are synthetically trying to set you up- which I think they are ,”
“Fuck. What are you talking about?”
“Do the deals with me…my way- not yours . Don’t use anticipation, sense, brain, just stop them..””
“What do mean?
“Start…now,” she yelled-
And in response I said. “No sooner said than done.”
***
I had been missing my friends, for not having met them since I left the bank. Actually, I felt a stub in my heart when Nicole said again . “You don’t pay visits to your friends, do you ?” And waited seriously for my answer. As a dishonest and rogue entity in her point of view I failed to convince her how hard I tried to contact them. “Disappeared just like that!” yelled she sardonically . “ I don’t know- it is not my responsibility and none of your concern,” said I. “ Fine but I do have my reason,” said she. “ I won’t ask,” said I, and resumed the engagement upon looking for Mr Ferguson’s three tasks- solution.
Eventually after the close of the day I tried my best to reach my closest friends without achieving any progress. I tried next day , and later chasing the news of Gladys , Lisa, and Richard, everywhere and desperately contacted their mobiles and home phones, and the bank’s, but the only logical answer I received was. “They left the bank.”
Mr Calhan’s secretary, never responded to my messages honestly until on my weekend, she passed me a short message on behalf of him with her notification -No Reply “Mr Callahan is no more the president of this bank. He says. ‘You should have figured out the triple assumptions. We have no time to waste. Ms Callahan is now your soul sister, and don’t bother my kids; Gladys , Lisa, and
Richard.’” I response I murmured to myself. “ You are right but I have not formulated them into a logical form so far. ”
***
There is one step, I thought , to tame the tribes of the beasts in Wall Street; the traders, the bankers, the analysts and, the managers. Nicole who used to instruct me the bullet points of her training season looked now way behind me “You require a specific skill set,” said she most often.
“I do have such a skill, I already have it- the are comply with the commandments of Wall Street , ” I murmured to myself.
“You have to be aggressive,” said she. “But no insofar that metamorphoses you to a lonely wolf.”
“I can be aggressive…I am aggressive, indeed,” I said to myself.
“You have to be gentle.”
“I, absolutely, am gentle.”
“Balancing between them is to show your acceptable chemistry.”
“ Narcissistic individual can work here but schizoid has no place here.”
“ By definition , however, autistics are perfect here,” I said sarcastically, and thought, definitely she worked hard, and grown up here as a women and is turning thirty six -twice as Melrose’s age- but has not developed enough for any great tasks. “ Fuck,” I snapped , as Melrose’s face flashed in my mind. “Oh fuck,” I screamed. “Melrose is turning eighteen.”
I Jumped, flounced , and left my apartment running on the streets at the start of night, and murmuring- “ I am a bastard indeed.” In fact, however, I was aware how have been metamorphosing into a modern beast under the load of my duties and personal greed- “Oh, my God, I am her brother,” I kept regretting myself all the way trying to get her the best present. .
As I stepped into my father’s house Melrose -screeched and threatened me, but I produced the most expensive gift she had ever received. I bowed . “ The pleasure’s all is mine- to serve you - princess ,”said I, before was exposed to her -censure- “I prefer one of those cheap ones you’d given me with your heart,” said Melrose regretfully, and reduced to tears. “I am sorry, Rosie,” I said, trying my best to contain her on behalf of -mama - at least; I was somehow her alternative mother. Rihanna would not help at any rate , if she tried him.
“ Strange!” I said.
“ Perhaps.”
“No one’s here,” I said .
“Right…”
“ I am worried.” I said, blaming Liz and Bradley for having forgotten their proposal.
“We got a plan.”
“That is perfect. ”
“But you won’t like it.”
“Do whatever you like. Don’t tell me. You’re eighteen.”
“I won’t tell you this time.”
“With friends?”
“I won’t tell you” said she.
“I am always there for you.”
“ I know.”
"It’s time to think about yourself.”
“If I grow up…” I said cynically.
She was happy, indeed, filling the house with joy- glowing and preparing to leave.
I kept thinking the whole night about her, even the short time I spent with Rihanna could not be satisfied by my consent-on contrary kept repeating. “How stupid you are Et .she is still a child.”
***
Despite my desperate attempts, clearly failed to recover my relation with the world. Moreover, in the following months, it looked I was trying in vain . (Looking worse in the coming years.) there was no time for friendship- even kept remembering Mr Callahan’s advice. “Don’t bother my kids!” said he. “Your kids?” I snapped then. That was the weirdest sentence I had ever heard from the man.
“Don’t look back anymore. You are closer to Mariana than anyone , moron,” said Mr Callahan.
“ Good morning Ms Callahan,” I said joyously, unaware, in fact, what was pushing me so urgently to stay close to her body. “Good morning Mr Taylor,” said she so passionately that I ventured and project my myself in her presence ,immediately.“ I believe we under estimated our strong ties,” said I.
“ Are you serious?”
“ Yes, I ,absolutely am,” I said . We have not talked about Mr Callahan yet.
“ Then put me on your list,” said she.
“Line up with us from now on.”
“Has he confessed?” said she.
“He won’t confess, he gestures, only.”
“ I agree.”
“ You were aggressive,” said I.
“It was a plan to tame a wild beast.”
“Freed by Callahan! I see,” I said.
“Let’s put it in this way: Nicole must be out of the game.”
“Oh, my God! That's impossible.”
“ Will wonders never cease?” said she
“I afraid- no.”
“I assume that everything is ready for Mr Callahan’s plan,” I said.
“Then meet me at the floor, ”said she.
We were now on the wall street..
“Sure,” I said and smiled triumphantly
“Fuck. You hunted me, did not you,” said she loudly.
“See you then.”
We were now exactly two hundred meters far for from The NYSE trading floor.
***
I was thinking of Marina; acquiring such a great support is a breakthrough.
“ Mariana !” Whispered Nicole.(“Passive she was though, smells the secrets better than dogs,” Mariana just said. )
“I told you who she is,” I said.
“I remember. But never can cope with such a bitch,” said Nicole.
“No one told you to do that, because you stay here.”
“What is wrong with -here-? What are you doing-then?”
“I mean you are scared to take promotion.”
“I want a stable life.”
“And you think, you find it here.”
“ Yes I do.”
“That might suit you.”
“Not the way, you think of- I am smart ambitious and strong- but not greedy and cruel,” said she, and almost exactly with her word ,Mariana stormed in, and approached us aggressively.
“Mr Taylor, leave your spot and follow me, immediately, ” said she.
“Wow,” whispered Nicole.” You’ve got a new Boss.”
“Coming back,” said I, and followed Mariana . Many eyes were focusing on me- as we toured the rooms of the trading floor.
“There is no privacy in this fucking brothel,” I murmured, behind her ear.
“Except in the bathroom,” said she joyously.
“What is going on, Mrs Callahan?”
“Mariana …call me -Mariana . Can I call you Et?”
“It is my pleasure.”
“Then-Et- listen. I am not leading you. You lead me,” said she meekly.
“I don’t understand.”
“You will soon.”
“ Are you introducing me to new people?”
“ Yes, indeed.”
“ Were not we just apprentices ?”
“Not really, assume so, but the game starts now.”
“Enlighten me, I got the point,” I said.
“You meet a board of- strategic management- first.”
“When? ”
“Mostly happens this week,” said she.
“Are you involved?”
“Sit down…”
“Where?”
She nodded to a chair.
“ Here is your place.”
“My place?”
“My place?”
“You are done with Nicole.”
I was gapping -speechless.
“What am I supposed to do here?”
“Climbing he tower of fortune,” said she-
I was always frighten by the height of the social pyramid.
“ How?” I stammered.
“You will see soon.”
“Enlighten me ma’am,” said I eagerly- again.
“Your talent is the key aspect -of Wall Street’s message to those- who had intention to occupy it .”
“My talent? I try my best to hide my face.”
She laughed aloud.
“Who terrified you- that much? That little bitch,” said she.
“What do mean? Definitely no one- I feel the danger -I smell it like a- primitive beast- does ”
“Come on, Et- say it.”
“That is insane, Nicole has nothing to do with this.”
“You don’t need to protect her. It won’t do her any harm. There is no revenge in our system. We are not God’s follower.”
“I am protecting myself and my mentor.”
“Your mentor?”
“Terrific “
“I am serious.”
“Look - Et- your interview is tougher than my friendly chattering.”
“I am ready for it-Mariana, if it is a challenge.”
“It is a challenge . Let’s start.”
“I am ready.”
“The plan has been set earlier. Probably prior to our own existence- inside the system.”
“What is the plan?”
“I have no idea.”
“ You’ve just talked about Wall Street’s message.”
“ I said -I have no idea. By the way, do you know why I am here.”
“Not really-.”
“Fuck. Do you think I was born an ultra-groomed princess?”
“Sort of.”
“Fuck- I drank and wore ill-fitting dress , and pulled stupid faces- at- passers-by’s on our street. My brother kicked me out- the way his father dealt with him. Sometimes had no money to smoke.”
“But you are fine. I mean you are now brothers and sisters- matures of course .”
“It is not about me- it is about you.”
“ Are you challenging me?”
“Use your whole brain’s capacity and show them prior to the promised day what you are capable of. Smash it. Smash the world.”
“I promise I will.”
“You need to rehears, the field of your talents. Day and night.”
“Day and night?”
“It’s his logic!” She meant her brother’s logic.
“I am living it, Ms Don’t play cupid,” said I.
“Fuck you. You are meeting -the beasts of the Street, not marvellous beautiful bitches .”
“You too, are a great talented one, Mariana.”
“Fuck you. I know what a filthy head you got. ”
***
“Greed, fraud, dishonesty and arrogance, are the best qualities that describe the devil’s intelligence,” said Mark Christopher , the chief of interviewers board. He preferred to introduce me to the member of his team. “ James Robin, Jack Martin, and Jordan Thomas, you have already been introduced to Ms Callahan , have not you?” …
“I have, sir- I am honoured, sirs, ” I said, then was swooped down -on-by the other members who in fact dealt with me as if were plucking the dear feathers off a rare bird. But the man was determined to hear my response. “How would you deal with such a devil that I just mentioned above if any?” said he. I knew the first point is to examine my concentration.“ Hire him, or terminate him, sir, ” said I confidently .“You know we won’t do that most often,” said Mr Robin, focusing his
piercing blue eyes on mine. “Then I have my tact and skills to rely on,” said I. “Well- we won’t rely on words,” they agreed to say. “Trained myself insofar that the Generation of the response- in my mind would not exceed the gravity of the task,” I said.
“What do you call it.”
“ Chemistry of Balancing - internally and externally.”
“ When you are ready , expand the statement.”
“Well, when I entirely am dedicated to a task, the spontaneous disturbances generated upon the rising of tension urges me to catch the moment to orchestrate the- organ commitments - responding - as a vital functionality in the system-“
“What that, is supposed to mean ?I said. ‘Expand the statement.’”
“I am still working on it, sir.”
“Show me. Show us.”
“I am not one of those men who disguise behind management statement. I am just sharply ready for the task. And I know exactly what your assignments are, and what to do with them, precisely, sir,” said I. Stunned though, their whispers ran in the room strangely, until they gathered themselves upon Robin’s grunting voice. “ Take this list , and dismantle them in ten day. I mean , break them down into pieces, ” said he sternly.
“Yes, sir,” said I.
“Do you know what are they?” said he.
“Companies, sir,” said I.
“Rogue entities. That is the scientific name for the losers, ” said he.
“Rogue entities , sir,” I said joyously, and for the first time in my life, I used this idiom. “A piece of cake.” And started- in full swing- hunting the.(Potential)-companies-gone onto administration for Mariana’s team to liquidize as soon as possible.
“Keep in your mind ,I am not looking for the already- identified entities,” said Mr Robin. Thus the interview came to the end.
***
They say Etwa is growing better than our expectancy…correct, I thought, they were right- because I can’t see Rihanna, I can’t see Melrose. (Déjà vu- means Et has no time.) I could deny- Nicole’s love and betray her very soon…that was another sign of what they call the massive success. Rihanna would die, and I had no time to stay with him. “I would have let him live in my new mansion if had been ready,” I told Melrose. “That is my prior duty, I swear to God.” But she did not trust me.
Melrose was a perfect woman- had been preparing with her husband to move north. I wished I could stop them at any cost, but they refused all my generous offers.
Regardless of our political affiliations I slept with Mariana regularly in my suite in New York Marriott Downtown 85 West Street at Albany Street. She was older than me though, I felt always she was not satisfied sexually. (Dispute my success in the bed .) More specifically she was in need to more men. Mr Callahan commented once on our relation , after he set me up. “ Other than that-(He meant his plan.) I won’t take reasonability of these two bitches.” However I hired a doctor for the purpose-I mean to keep me compatible with her. But the doctor turned out to be the one who was responsible for the drug prescriptions that were steadily- issued for Manhattan’s kids upon their ambitious labouring to achieve their American Dream- .
In years to come- I will have to feel my chip tweeting - even recently I thought ,it was talking to me. Actually I reached a level where I could predict spontaneously the slightest changes that were frequently occurring during the moderate daily inflation -including the -worrisome signal in the course of prices. (I would not know if I was a copy of the future citizen responding willingly to what fraternity lords generate in their head.)
My bosses succeeded to hide me from the eyes of the prominent economists and individuals ranged from Mr Narayana Kocherlakota to Mr Trump. And around that time I understood what lied behind the rumour that -might take me through the Federal Reserve Bank to- touch- the physical being of the fiscal cliff .
On contrast to all what I knitted in my head about her , Mariana, helped me so aggressively that she created a fence of the strongest class of managers around me to freeze the most dangerous threats that I might be exposed to. “Have you ever thought what are you running after?” That was the major concern of everyone who worked with me or befriended with me .
“A niche- a place-for my destiny,” I receive the answer without using my head. I called Mariana. “Mariana! Where are you?” I said.
“I am right behind you, sir,” said she.
I was restless- but had intention to convince her to come with me to the bathroom, after Nicole disappeared entirely. “I have a lot of questions in my head, Mariana, ”I said.
“Brilliant,” said she honestly.
“How long have we been working together.”
“Enough to say. ‘You were a beginner, dear,’” said Mariana.
“Listen to me.”
“I am all yours.”
“Mariana, don’t you how restless I am?”
“You may need a psychiatric?”
“Mariana!”
“What?”
“Ask your brother.”
“Stop it.”
“I need him.”
“What for?”
“It is something relates to the c-h-i-p.”
“Don’t- Don’t,” yelled she.
“Arrange an appointment with him,” I said.
“Don’t be naïve… he has no time.”
“-It is me-Etwa.”
“Actually his position does not allow him to meet people- randomly.”
“I am not visiting him randomly.”
“All right… he is not the same person, now. Actually we don’t know where he resides.””
“ I’ll find him, by my own, if he does not mind”
“ I doubt it,” said she.
“Tonight,” I yelled in a challenging mood.
“To reach him , you won’t survive such a magical web- on your way.”
“What do mean?”
“There is no need to explain,”
“ What about Mrs Callahan?”
“Do you mean Lora?”
“Yes-definitely.”
“I believe you’ve lost track, dear.”
“Never ever. It won’t happen , only if was being misled by someone I adore.”
“Right. But, she is not Mrs Callahan - anymore.”
“ What? ” I gasped sadly, and kept repeating. “Why, why.”
“I am sorry, ” said she honestly.
“She was my late Godmother,” I said emotionally.
“I know. I know, but that is-what happened, indeed.”
I was so disturbed that I could not control my anger for a long while . We stayed silent until I yelled. “Please, leave me alone. ” I was indenial and internally getting lonely, without any prospect of recovery during those moments .( In other words -I was now Mariana’s major concern.) “I will find my a way to reach him, sooner or later- I promise,” said she. “It would be appreciated. Thank you. ” “You are the most welcome .”
Since the day. (Or after the interview.) instead of being invited by Mr Callahan ,I was passed from hands to hands, and from places to places- Financial Groups, Finance Associations, institutions, and history and origin of financial delta- The central bank, reserve bank. (Monetary authority-) and Fiscal cliff observatory -and war economy-extra - et cetera, and places never had heard of. It took me many years to overcome all those labours. (Some cynics say. ‘ Your skills -which are nothing - cost the taxpayers one billion dollars.’ But in response I say nothing, because I am now changing mentally , physically and environmentally. )
***
In weeks to come Mariana will have to give birth to our first baby. ( For her pregnancy- during our long lasting affairs- she did not even ask for my permission.) Anyway, however Aiden was the angel who brought us together and united us so strongly that Mr Callahan could not keep himself away from us … thus we started our life as a family. Actually I could not expect such a great change- in our lives .I would say I am lucky to meet Mr Callahan physically, if he did not accelerate the pace of my skills’ development, in order to connect me through the chip to the wider spectrum of the catastrophic side of the world, I would not be here now.
Mr Callahan suffered from the fallout of the chips’ news as the majority of his agents- had used the chips for personal benefits, and it was his responsibility to remove all them -and cover the issue by releasing a unique diplomatic statement . “Biologically ,the chips were implanted- in incompatible bodies .” However, for my surprise- Mr Callahan kept my chip in its place, without having mentioned it for a long while .
I would never have believed that I could fly so high, particularly when the chipping affair overtook Mr Callahan and unhinged his credibility insofar that it had taken him out of sight for a while. But when he succeeded to remove the chips, the man, who used to tell me -“Don’t ruin yours, beyond retrieve.” Succeeded, by my aid, not only to restore himself, but he became more authorative, and assertive, in the world of finance, that is why he dubbed me. in one of the crucial meeting of the country’s financial foundations, banks, and organization. “ Jesus of Money.” Thus how I begun -proceed and become one of the prominent figure of finance, for many years..
***
Mr Callahan was getting older, and older. His sister, Mariana ,in fact, noticed that better than me. She told me the truth. “The hypocrisy is over. We know what is going on ,”said she .I remember when I met him he fifty five. “Right,” I said. “All thoughts must now turn to the final showdown,” said she. “What do you mean,” said I.
“The man is done,” said she. It was a turn point in my life- not in Mariana’s - for having dedicated herself for Aiden- letting me crushed by the massive weight of my new burden.
Actually the exact moment of the turn point was behind the ambiguity of Mr Callahan’s act on the dinner table, where he intentionally insulted us in our house, and said. “Fuck this world. If I died, I would have no one deserves my wealth.” He was not like that most often- on contrary he liked Mariana faithfully- even lately kept admiring Aiden as his mere heir. It looked- his comment had extremely angered Mariana, who in consequence excused herself and left us both- ridiculously facing each other on her dinner table, where sooner Mr Callahan changed the subject, and in a very deep tone whispered. “Are you absolutely facing me with a clean head.” I was not- at all- ready for another blow.
Startled though, I whispered confidently. “Yes, definitely, sir.” … “You have recently passed the last, exam,” said he. “We are not students, anymore, sir, ” said I. “The true master is always a disciple, ” said he grudgingly. Actually he was now struggling to stay awake. I have never seen him like that. “Man, you need to rest.” “Rest? It is no good. For me -rest- is no good. I have no time.” “The early retirement option- is no bad, ” said I. “Right, ”said he and grinned. “Early !” “Right- is not good enough” “ It is crucial. Etwa, Listen.” “Fine .I am, listening.” “ I have to clean my mess.” “Your mess ?” “Don’t misunderstand me,” said he. t “I won’t-“ “I want you there…there ,” said he and nodded to the sky through the wide window. “Where?” I screamed, and gazed fiercely into his diminishing eyes for the first time. I was shocked,- how such a healthy- horse like man has declined so dramatically - in the recent years.
He was already seventy, showing in particular a severe decline in health though he demanded-and commanded actively during his last blows to get ready for his mission. “Now…Now,” murmured he, and called his assistants. “My words are clearly heard, gentlemen- sirs. Implementation of the starts now. It does not need issuing any further decoration, however, according to my authority- that United States of America has trusted me with , I dub Mr Etwa Rihanna Hagen Taylor : Equistrian and Guard of Fiscal cliff- and from now on he is holding all my capacities ,” improvised Mr
Callahan , and laid his head on the table- midst my shock and my shrill shout, before having checked .“Marianaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.” His heart has already stopped beating. Thus -died-the man of- the state - man of banks, finance , intelligence, and administration- the man who could say to any president- behind the scene . “Cease to exist.”
Mr Callahan left his wealth for Mariana, and advised her to dedicate herself to Aiden during his childhood, and reminded her of her Mother’s sacrifices. I, personally, did not expect too much all the same, but according to his recommendation - officially- was- indeed- dubbed- Equistrian and Guard of Fiscal cliff of the world- the real- virtual -unbelievable- place.
I remembered how tremendously we talked about the world and my future during the last days. “If this place -collapsed the whole world would collapse .too,” said he. “Fuck. I thought Wall Street is the wall of the world.” “No shit… but has no roof in absence of this place .” “What am I, sir, now?” I shouted in fear. “You are no more an element of New York Blend Mr Taylor. You have no soul- you are money,” said he .Though he massively was using metaphors those days I yelled .“Am I money?” And pulled my tie tighter - in his presence. “Fuck…Fuck.”
***
“Your long journey has come to the end.” I read Mr Callahan’s personal letter to me. (Hidden by Mariana.) Right, here, virtually, I am- there, at the place where the deceased man had chosen for me, after has experienced in my journey-(According to him.) every elements-needed or I might need in the secret venue. “They say fiscal cliff created by an ever-escalating deficit. But this is a journal understanding of the tsunami- not ours. The crisis is way deeper than hell ,” said Mr Callahan “A virtual room falling steadily- in my point of view,” I murmured.
“This place whatever it is. (I am not supposed to tell you now.- because there is no logical place can be called a fiscal cliff.) When you are there the concierge will receive you and lead you through the cliff’s architecture - the combination of everything you had learnt,” I was still discussing his divine letter with myself, and turning of his long lived experience in my head.
“Financial program, is the most difficult part for the ruling system.-and as the self-reservation yeast their agents would avoid all known principles in order to maintain the system’s equilibrium state around zero- (This Zero is Devine Number, Sire.) Those agents who work in the system enjoy the rumours about their mythical or fictional impact on the world. These declaration outside this place is unimaginable. ”
I would not move anywhere, until on Saturday night- where everyone was hitting the city, I heard Mariana , saying listlessly on her mobile . “You, know where he is.” And hung up . As I behaved with Mr Callahan- meekly and followed what he planned for me, I started feeling I am not a real New Yorker as I used to be. In fact, I was alienated from my folks and friends as though I was approaching that Devine Zero- platform alone.
Mariana has already started retreating to her normal life; prior to the wall street’s years- before was seduced by groin stroking - behind the tables or helping her in sticking nipple tassels in Wall’s bathrooms, during the then time brief flings. “ What I really am focusing on now is to make my point clear for you: A man like us must not attribute the reason of the finance chaos to this trio- Capitalism, Zion Protocol or Conspiracy theory,” I read in his personal letter to me..
“If this place eclipsed the whole world would eclipse,” I read, again and again. “You have to be aware this world is standing on the top of this trio: Money, Procurer, and War.”…
“It is too much, sir,” I murmured, and remembered Mariana’s phone call. “They are coming soon,” said she.
“Who are they?” I said cynically.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know!”
“The house is surrounded . “
“I mean , they are here,” said Mariana.
“I am ready, for this experience,” I said.
“My concern is: Why they came at night?” said she.
“The secrecy is a twin of success,” said I.
“ See you soon. Good night,” said she.
“Good night.”
***
Mr Callahan did not tell me, anything about my personal destiny yet.
“Mr Taylor. Is it a right time for our visit?”
“I believe it is. Come through, sir,” said I.
“I am Officer Nathan Garner, have been commanded to escort you to your new office, sir,” said he.
“ Right,” I said.
“Your secretary will receive you, very soon-she is responsible for introducing you to your busy timetable, sir. However, I assure you ,we deployed enough forces to secure your trip, and take care of your family from now on, sir,” said the officer.
“Thank, you, officer,” I said.
“ My pleasure, sir,” said he.
“Please allow me , sir, to say. ‘Your personal safety is our prior concern’,” said the officer, and halted for a while, until I said. “Carry on,” For having been blown away, indeed. “You are no more -the person who could walk alone, drive alone, and spend his holiday alone,” said the Officer. “We are taking you downstairs where your secretary is waiting for you in your limo,” said he.
“Your address is changed. Your wife is taken to your new mansion,” said he.
“By the way, it’s our duty to take care of your belonging, sir.”
“We are now moving, sir,” said he and took me downstairs.
I met my beautiful secretary. She was waiting for me on fire.
“I am Jessica Osborn, your secretary, sir,” said she aggressively. “Ms” She added.
I don’t like such a direct person I thought, particularly - woman- (Because I can ignore men, but can’t ignore women.”
“How do you do?” I said grudgingly.
“Sir.” She said immediately.
I did not reply.
“Mr Taylor. I have to talk, ” she said confidently.
“Talk Mrs Osborn,” I said trying to correct my impression fairly.
“Ms- sir.” Said she.
“Ms Osborn.”
“In your first meeting, at 12.00 PM. You meet the most influential people in the country. They can recruit presidents or de- capitate- them - metaphorically, ” said she.
“Should I listen, while you’re talking,” I said seriously.
“Sir Your responsibility has started three minutes ago. You can’t miss anything.”
“What?”
“I am documenting - your life- around the clock,” said she.
“What do mean?” I yelled.
“I mean- we must live together, sir,” said she.
“ I am a married man, young lady,” said I.
“I know, sir. I am aware of that but that is the nature of our job,” said she.
“O, my God- how does Mariana - put up with this,” I said.
“She has a good experience. Knows where to go, sir.”
“What?” I yelled. I felt I was a wild beast.
“She lived with her brother, when he occupied this position.”
I would respond harshly , but she demanded, immediately. “DRIVE-L-”
She meant to tell the driver -Drive the Limo-.
***
“FCCC is not like what I expected,” I massaged Mariana.
(FCCC are standing for Fiscal Cliff Control Centre.) But in our joke were standing for Forward a Cloned Copy of the Colonel- to elude the virtual spies, if they tried to intercept our mind- my mind in particular. “Right- my father had told me, but my brother was happy with it,” said she. “Your father?” I gasped. “Yes,” said she. I was shocked, but did not proceed any further. “You understand, there is no answers for your inquiries. Just go ahead,” said she. “ Right.” “To contain the crises there is no architectural edifice in the scale of Coliseums- superior to Marine’s corps or pentagon building,” I said. “You are doing well- but need to learn how to disappear. Have a good time.” “Good night.” “Good night.”
The place- which everyone will deny- was full of chattering males and females.(superior ones indeed.) Mr Callahan kept repeating . “If this place collapsed the whole world would collapse.” I remembered everyone in Wall Street repeating the same wisdom.
They placed me closer. “Listen when they speak , you can relax. They never stop speaking ,”said Mr Callahan.” No one can stop- speaking -except you. Because you are the greatest listener- the one who must make his mind to hit the moment-to crush, and fuck the world.” “Could you stop using those words, crush, hit, fuck.” “No- because the buck would crush you if you did not. There is no ethic no passion here. Don’t worry, you don’t need to think hard- things would jump into your head. I am telling you; this is your destiny ,” Mr Callahan said- and put my destiny in the context for the first time.
“This is the start of the end,” I murmured to myself, and stepped in, and as he said , no one paid attention to my attendance. (I was now, from my niche watching the chattering hoards, and listening to a bundle of the tangled speeches , and trying my best to stay conscious and focus on the soul of the world on the tornado like turbulences .)
***
By the time I felt I was strangled-amongst the murmurs, as the words started losing the logical meaning. The whispers , however ran in the space-focusing on ambiguous terms such as Boosts Guidance, larger retail trends, champs ventures, or rolling in shit. And influenced by this misty chaos individuals have to declare their candidacy for top jobs- to make the rich richer- to make lives of poor entities a little better . Money becomes even more difficult during the general election. There is a task of convincing voters to solve puzzle -find out- it is a massacre - isn’t? That kind of trend is Democratic and Republican candidates whim. There is, no third-party candidates continue where the finances entrenched them . Colluding with the banks to concoct a plan to entice money movers.
“Fuck,” I remembered how the facility works in my body . (Log- in- me-Log off me.) They enter me as much as they need with balance sheets, statement of financial positions, and every entities’ income statement , statements of comprehensive insurance , statement of revenue & expense, P&L or profit and loss report. A profit and loss statement provides information on the operation of the national and international enterprises. A Statement of changes in equity, also known as equity statement or statement of retained earnings. A cash flow statement reports on a company's cash flow activities.
‘I feel the things flow through me: I am not a gay though.
“Don’t be scared of the astronomical number, they will be looking extremely little very soon,” said Mr Callahan. The man was gloomy. “ We travel someday at the - light year- soon.” Washington is transfixed by the drama upon the looming of fiscal cliff risk. State officials across the country are bracing for the possibility of damaging economic ripple effects, if the president and congressional leaders can’t negotiate a deal to block the huge rise in federal taxes and automatic spending cuts set to kick in by early January.
In the night of my inauguration ,many state senior officials were counting on another good year of revenue growth and economic improving conditions, after years of budget shortfalls throughout the great recession. But with the East Coast devastated Hurricane Sandy (-Repeatedly-) -and the possibility of the fiscal mess, governors and state senior officials across the country are now on high alert. However, I have just been told through my channel without any words. “There is nothing to worry about, don’t bother the system. We can play recession, we can play fiscal game or play the real booming if was not China’s tides in rise.” Strange, I see, things are rising .
I must write the diary of my good side.“ I am not myself at all -I am lost , not even mirroring the complexion of my city-Have been isolated from the New Yorkers. I have never been bastardized as much as I am now,” I said.
“I am lost- terminologies driving me crazy,” I murmured. “Hire an assistant for the terminologies, ” said Jessica. “Jess!” I yelled at her. “I need a team to eliminate heads as many as it takes.” “My other name is Abishag not Jess,” said Jessica Osborn. “I am fine- hot and sexy- not old,” yelled I. “I can help- if you are not.” “Right. Carry on.”
“Satisfy the Money Lords, force Mariana to steer clear her brother’s old fashion boys, and then eliminate the heads.” “Thank you.” “Thank you - costs a lot.” “I know- I know.” “You did not let me answer your comment-I am hot and sexy- not old,” said she. “You said I help you.” “I know you are not old, but just warning- you can’t turn back the hands of time,” said she.
“I agree- but it is too early.” “maybe.”
*** Mariana has disappeared with Aiden. I have been massively devastated. Jessica tried to push me on my track, again. “We can’t take leave from life. Better to go back to the money lords,” said she. “I should not have involved passionately,” I said. “ I am here to help, sir,” whispered Jessica Osborn , and held my cold hand in her lab. “ According to Pew Centre,” said she. “I can tell- pass it,” I said. “A prompt response is expected,” said she “Carry on, anyway,” I said.
“According to Pew Centre on the States - has been recently released -for free, the general economic slowdown that would result from an estimated - trillions-of tax increases and spending cuts- taking hold sometime- would significantly affect state economic activity- direct undercut in the budgets,” she read. “ “Hold on, hold on. Despite the major facts, things keep swiftly flowing in sewerage as long as the city has a healthy cancer, ” said I. “ They are listening and voting,” said she. “No matter how much we would suffer during the crisis, If were not grabbed by the evilness of the ticking time bomb,” said I. “They would rather to meet them in struggle floor, sir,” said she. “We will be there soon, Jess,” I yelled. “Tell tem to wait.”
Sometimes I give lectures, or give advice or swear at rogue entities- even bring the presidents of banks and mangers of Wall Streets and all other financial organizations and tell them. “I am watching you like the Ozon Hole does with the planet.” And tell the rulers of the world “You know, my fellow citizen-of the world- all these are in fact leading to nowhere. Quenching your fatal desires with blood is unjustifiable. ” They say. “ What is the difference, sir?”
I am certain the majority of them are lowbrows, and have no concern about any fraternity manifesto . They only listen to threats and apologize to Ms Osborn and beg her to get over it .And I tell her “I won’t-even I buy a plan to fuck them up.” “I told everyone-he does not belong to here,” says Mr Callahan’s assistant whom I dismissed in the first place. “You should have warned Callahan, then,” he had told Mariana, several times. And when I dismissed him, told Mariana “It is a matter of dishonesty .”She became angry.“What are you talking about? You have never met such an efficient man. Honesty is not an issue here,” said Mariana.
***
“Hello, Et, I am Mariana, I said eliminate your opponent not my brother’s closest ones,” said she, when I cleaned the place from the most corrupted figures . “I am doing well” “I am afraid- you not. It is not your job to look after honesty and integrity- you just run the place ” “They are my rivals- indeed, honey- I am certain .” “I doubt your certainty.”
“What for Callahan tamed a genius? ” “Did he ?” said she cynically. “Have not you known what they planned for? “ “We had reached a fair compromise- for the both parties,” said she. “ Stop it. There is no fair compromise. Actually they planned to-either eliminate me or format my brain,” said I. “ Really?”
“But I was smarter than them.”
“Really ? “
“Really.”
“But, you are -unformatable- dear.”
“ Was not I a potential target for elimination?”
“You believe that their elimination was the best choice.”
“Are you with me or against me, Mariana?”
“I definitely, am with you. But I preferred to disappear to avoid being part of your war.”
“My war?”
“Definitely - You’ve already started the fire. You won’t stop Et- Your mentor was wrong. People have been killed,” said she.
“That is the game’s principle - that Mr Callahan himself played on.”
“It is not fair.”
“ I stand corrected, death is not the best solution.”
“It is too late, dear . I have no choice other than say -- farewell , dear,” said she , and almost at the time, Jessica’s voice sounded-on a device- in the room. “Jessica!” Gasped Mariana and hung up. “ All evidences against them are being aired- on news , sir,” said Jessica on her way to lay charges on my rivals. “COPY.”
"  Time to Falò delle vanità*," intended to whisper.
Startled by Mariana’s gasp, I sat alone gazing thunderstruck at the hollow world though , and searching desperately around myself, for the rank of the next man to prey on- there was none. It
was too early for me to die…was not even mentally ill to go over it; the place was collapsing- for having suffered the touches of amendment.

The End

*The bonfire of vanities.




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